Woods & Mountains
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Powersports Relationship Quiz

Do you have room in your heart (and garage) for a new machine?
By Paul Sullivan
Published: November 8, 2010
webatv
Photo by Dennis Cox, dreamstime.com
Ever wonder if you could find happiness with a snowmobile or all-terrain-vehicle? Sure, some of your friends enjoy them, but would you? People who experience happiness with one gasoline-powered machine are likely to achieve satisfaction with another. Take this easy test to learn your machine compatibility score.

1  How’s your relationship with your lawnmower?  
A.  A troubling, frustrating on-again, off-again affair. (3)
B.  I love my mower, keep the blades sharp and change oil regularly. (5)
C.  My cabin doesn’t have a lawn – and I love that. (0)

2  Do you own a motorcycle?
A.  No, my mom always said they’re too dangerous. (0)
B.  No, my wife always says they’re too dangerous. (3)
C.  Yeah, baby! Wanna go for a ride? (5)

3  My friends are:
A.  Extroverts. (3)
B.  Introverts. (0)
C.  Adventurous daredevils when they’re out of jail. (5)

4  At a party, which activity would you enjoy most?
A.  Scrabble. (0)
B.  Watching snowmobile races and ATV mud-running. (5)
C.  Bikini limbo. (5)

5  Which activity would most thrill you?
A.  Competing in a bicycle race. (3)
B.  Building your own race car and then racing it. (5)
C.  Watching reruns of “Green Acres.” (0)
 
6  What body type do you prefer?
A.  Slim, built for racing. (5)
B.  Athletic, toned; capable of carving turns in deep mountain snow. (5)
C.  A few extra pounds okay for hauling logs and fish houses. (5)
 
7  Which bar food would you prefer?
A.  Cheesy nachos and jalapeños with Jägermeister shots. (5)
B.  Red wine and fondue. (3)
C.  Creamed corn. (0)
 
8  People who jump ramps and perform flying-stunt tricks with snowmobiles and ATVs are:
A.  Fearless. (5)
B.  Starved for attention their mothers didn’t give them. (3)
C.  Impossible to insure. (0)

9  Is your tool box neat?  
A.  I can usually find what I need or borrow it. (3)
B.  I have all the nuts individually sized in olive jars. (5)
C.  My tool box is a size-12 shoe box. (0)
 
10  How many trips do you make to the hardware store to fix a leaky sink?
A.  One. (5)
B.  Five. (3)
C.  I call a plumber. (0)

11  Your favorite bar is out of beer. You ask:
A.  For tequila. (3)
B.  For directions to the next bar. (5)
C.  What is beer? (0)
 
12  What is a dipstick?
A.  A device for measuring oil. (5)
B.  A derogatory name. (3)
C.  A stick of bread for digging out soft, tub cheese. (0)
 
13  What is your noise tolerance level?                   
A.  Live rock and roll at a noisy bar. (5)
B.  Chamber music. (3)    
C.  Whispering. (0)
 
14  How does sledding in deep mountain snow differ from a Midwestern lake, assuming the lake is frozen?         
A.  Sled tracks are longer, paddles deeper, more like riding in a boat. (5)
B.  Avalanches happen. (3)
C.  I know, but you tell me first to prove that you know. (0)  

15  Who said “The woods are lovely dark and deep?”
A.  Robert Frost. (3)
B.  My English teacher. (0)
C.  Someone who forgot the GPS. (5)
 
Add up your points and compare them with the following point ranges below:
50-75: You are totally and completely machine compatible. See your motor-sports dealer immediately.
16-49: Rent before you buy.
0-15: You prefer pedal- and paddle-sports, and probably spend a lot less on gas. 
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