Septic System Poetry

Q: I'm looking for a poem or saying that I can print and frame to put in our cabin reminding guests about the need to conserve water and to watch what goes down the drains. It would be a nicer way than telling them when they come to visit.


A: How does one – politely and in good taste – educate cabin guests on how to treat a septic system? We've seen clever ditties at many cabins, but never did get around to writing them down. This one, however, stuck in our mind:

All us folks with septic tanks
Give to you our heartfelt thanks
For putting nothing in the pot
That isn't guaranteed to rot.
Kleenex is bad, matchsticks too,
Cigarette butts are taboo.
No hair combings, use the basket,
There's a darn good reason why we ask it!


And cabin owner Judy Sarvela's vintage plaque (pictured) addresses country plumbing discreetly:

Country Plumbing
There's lots of things like pins and strings
Filter tips and other things
Which country plumbing will reject
So – "Urbanites" – be circumspect
It's all a bother and a care,
But, oh my dear, so nécessaire!


Here is another septic poem sent in by one of our readers.

Our septic tank can do a lot,
But there are some things it just cannot.
So please!!!
No cigarette butts, Kleenex or absorbent items,
No plaster or foil – it just can't fight 'em.
Our Septic "Tanks" to you

Judy Sarvela